I don’t quite understand at what point sex became quite so mechanical and almost fake.
where did the enjoyment go?
who cares if you get sweaty? Or if you headbutt them or clash teeth whilst trying to kiss? Or if you get cramp halfway through and need to change positions and they slip out? who…
if you can’t laugh during sex, you might not be doing it with the right person
I am the happiest lady.
Right now, today, our relationship is perfect. If he got down on one knee right now, I’d say yes regardless of my better judgement about age, time and money. That’s how great I feel about how things are between us.
And I’m allowed to revel in this and enjoy it and have ridiculous fairy tale thoughts because things can’t be this perfect all the time. You have to balance and argue and change and adapt. You have to have the bad to get the good. So I’m just spoiling myself in the wonders of us right now. We are amazing.
Or it’s not so much that as feeling alone and dejected inside this home. When I’m with him I feel safe and I feel loved. Here I just feel disconnected from everything and everyone.
I feel really sad and I’m not sure why. Everything is pretty cushty really.
This week is set to be dull, but next week Kerr is 21 and we’re going to Blackpool pleasurebeach. Then I have the weekend off, my parents are away. Kerr is moving in for the 2 days. But when my parents come back, his go away. So that’s another 2 days together at his. Then it’ll be July and we can start flat hunting.
So I should be happy. But I just feel kind of seperated right now. The only time where I don’t feel like I’m empty is when I’m close to him. I just like to lie on his tummy and listen to him talk. Talk about anything, I just want to sit and listen and occasionally look up and see his perfect face smiling back at me.
I am completely, violently, love sick.
“If You Know Someone Who Doesn’t Believe Sexism Exists, Show Them This”
Link here: [x]
Not had a brilliant day, got home from Kerr’s and noticed a load of broken glass lying at the back of my mum’scar. Got out and walked round hoping it wasn’t what it looked like, but sure enough, some wee fud had smashed in the window and all the lights on the back of her car. What is the actual point of that? Nif you were going to go to the effort of smashing in a car, surely you’d try and steal it or at least take the CD’s or stereo. I’m glad they didn’t do that obviously, I just can’t understand why they’ve smashed it in then just left it.
Mindless little wanks, I hate this area.
If it’s good enough for my face, it’s good enough for my fanny.
- my logic when it comes to moisturiser.
Today on reasons Seonaid can’t fucking wait to move out: going to the kitchen for a slice of toast and getting harrassed with questions about what I’m eating and why.
I had lunch at half 12 and I’m not going for a meal until 8pm. If I want a slice of toast I think I will have one, you cunt.
It’s been six years and somerimes I still feel like I want to fall asleep and not wake up.
Some feelings are a persistant plague. The notion that no one really likes you, & actually everyone just puts up with your presence but as soon as you’re gone they all talk about what a horrible person you are. That feeling of absolute horror and guilt when someone is annoyed with you or dislikes you. Thar feeling that you’re missing out on something amazing, that everyone will be talking about for months to come. That feeling if being on the periphery of a close friendship group, but never quite involved. Never a main character. Always getting B’s instead of A’s.
I don’t know how I still haven’t grown out of these things. I hope its soon.